


why are you my remedy?

by sukarettimay



Series: you are the piece of me i wish i didn't need [2]
Category: Magi: Adventure of Sinbad (Anime), Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, Miscarriage, Unplanned Pregnancy, hola it's me again after 4 years of soul searching, i thought i was done and then sinseren suplexed me and laughed in my face, i'm a complete weenie so here's a happy ending uwu, the miscarriage is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukarettimay/pseuds/sukarettimay
Summary: He smiles back at her, taking her hand, and it feels like he finally has his utopia in his grasp.
Relationships: Serendine Dikumenowlz Du Parthevia/Sinbad (Magi)
Series: you are the piece of me i wish i didn't need [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087754
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	why are you my remedy?

**Author's Note:**

> perhaps a happy ending was in order?
> 
> [NOTE: if you read _if our love's a tragedy_ , i just updated it so it doesn't sound like a 15 year old girl wrote it lol]

He’s exhausted.

It’s warm. It’s bright. He closes his eyes and takes a slow, deep breath. A low, constant chirping, the ethereal whisper of the Rukh echoes in his ears as the sense of relief, acceptance washes over him. It’s _warm_.

He understands now. Humility. Conviction. Wisdom. Success. _D_ _estiny_.

* * *

He thought he did, standing rigid in front of her, nails digging into his sweaty palms deep enough to draw blood because he needed her to understand his heroic duty.

 _“I will change the world!”_ he declared. Acceptance, unity, a utopia without despair. He promised, _I_ can make it happen, for the sake of the company, country, world.

And she scoffed.

 _"Your ideals are just a bunch of pretty words,”_ she said. The sweet magenta hue of her irises, they spoke of determination, truth. _“Your words make people feel good_ _,”_ she said. _"T_ _hey’re applicable to anyone and everyone… The ‘perfect world’ you keep going on about is just an empty idea.”_

His heart wavered, dropped with a heavy, full crash on the scale of resolve, but he refused to believe it. He clutched it, his hope, dream, close; destiny loved him too much to forsake him, his cherished ambitions.

The weight of the world was on his shoulders, he knew that, but he didn’t _know_ that until the world collapsed around him, gravity dragging him into oblivion. His utopia had slipped between his fingertips, peace diminished despite his dearly beloved destiny.

With a guise of determination, his fingertips reached for a new utopia.

* * *

“...Sinbad.”

“Serendine. Did you need something?”

“Back in the dungeon… I… I apologize if I was too harsh. My words- it was never my intention to insult you so impudently, especially after-”

“Hey, it’s alright. It was a debate after all- I wouldn’t expect you to go easy on me.”

“But still-“

“Don’t worry too much, Seren. You did well. Congratulations.”

“...Thank you, Sinbad.”

“ _And_ well, since you’re such a pretty girl, I suppose I can forgive you.”

“...Brat. You’re as incorrigible as ever.”

“And yet, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh that hard. Dare I say- are you falling for this brat?”

“Wh- _of course not!_ ”

“Hm, if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought that the marriage proposal of yours had an ulterior motive.”

“You-... Maybe… Maybe, you’ll just have to find out.”

* * *

It was a spectrum of pink, rosy cerise cheeks flushed with friction, sunset sky strands framing her face like the halo of the sun. It was butterfly pecks trailing after the garden of violet blossoms blooming on the blank canvas. It was pleasure washing out like the waves, in and out, crashing onto the docks leaving seafoam in its tracks.

He gazed down at it, painted across his hazy vision like a masterpiece.

It was his new utopia, humming when his lips pressed to her skin. It was his new utopia, shivering at his command, relinquishing at a single touch. It was his new utopia, screaming loud, firm, perfectly, the way her lips shaped _“Sin, oh Sinbad…”_

Maybe he should’ve felt guilt, he thought, as he stared up at the ceiling. Maybe he should’ve, as his eyes peered next to him. He brushed a rogue strand of hair out of her face with the tips of his fingers, a feathery touch. She sighed in her slumber, burrowing into his chest like she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

In the weak, white glow of the moonlight, like heaven’s blessing, Zepar glared.

* * *

“Good morning, Seren.”

"Ah- good morning. I… I didn’t realize you were up.”

“With a girl as gorgeous as you by my side, I’m afraid I might still be dreaming.”

“...That’s something we have in common then.”

* * *

For a moment, he could relish. He relished in the fleeting, knowing glances thrown his way, the shyness in the slight curve of her smile. He relished in the lingering touches on his arm, shoulder, waist, like a moth drawn to the burning flame, like an angel drawn to the burning sun.

It was the dawn of a romance, bred from innate desire _(for…)._

* * *

“You’re leaving already?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t think you’d want me to stay.”

“Of course I do. It _is_ quite cold out, you know. Who else would keep my bed warm?”

“...There’s work to do, Sinbad; we best get up before someone finds us- _hey-_ ”

“What’s the rush? I’m sure the company can survive a few more hours without us.”

“...You insatiable bastard.”

“I see you’re not stopping me, though. How sly, Seren.”

“...I suppose you’re right. You’ve been rubbing off on me.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“We’ll see, shall we?”

* * *

For a moment, he was content.

* * *

“Rurumu, have you seen Serendine? I have a few documents for her to look over.”

“I apologize. I don’t think I have. She wasn’t at breakfast. Saher went to check on her earlier; apparently, she’s been in her room all day.”

“She hasn’t come out at all? ...I should go check on her.”

“That might not be for the best. Perhaps I can send Saher again.”

“Are you sure?”

“You have plenty to worry about already, Sinbad. Whatever happened, she will be okay. She’s strong.”

“...You’re right. Thank you.”

* * *

And suddenly, his new utopia crumbled.

* * *

“Tell me. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve already _told_ you, it’s absolutely _nothing_ -”

“...You’re not okay. Serendine, tell me what’s wrong. That’s an order.”

“I’m…”

* * *

He watched as she stumbled out of the dining hall, a sheen of sweat lining her forehead and a flimsy excuse on her tongue. He followed her unsteady trail to the garden, concern (guilt) pooling in his eyes, and she _whispered_ , “five weeks.”

Her words, standing in that garden with violet blossoms framing her petite body like a painting, red in the face with clenched teeth, fury in her lovely magenta eyes- _what he wouldn’t do to see that spark again-_ they crashed into him like a hurricane.

He remembers the jumble of words on the tip of his tongue refusing to fall and getting stuck in his throat. He remembers watching helplessly as disappointment pulled at the corners of her lips. She spat out _“Lord President”_ like venom, like a taste on her tongue she wanted to get rid of.

The recklessness of his decisions, the weight of that one little _mistake_ (it was a _mistake_ , wasn’t it?) was enough to snap the string- this was his judgment.

She brushed past him uncaringly in the halls, “excuse me’s” and “sorry’s” tumbling out. She hid her stomach under accounting documents despite it being too early for a distinct bump to show. She always held her head up high, like she was afraid her crown would fall.

Zepar rattled against her hip, the faithful companion, and his fingers twitched.

* * *

Barbarossa, with saccharine words of seduction, a gold platter presented so easily to him, _democracy_ , power to the people, power to _him_ , strengthened his resolve, his dignity. The purge was swept under the rug so seamlessly and he clenched his fist. The answer was right in front of him.

He remembered her pleas, promises of a grandiose revolution and mutual power, her flushed cheeks and shaky eyes.

Then- her cold words, cradling her still-flat stomach, resolute and bitter. Then- her indifference, her distance, her acrimony. Then- _Z_ _epar._

He agreed.

* * *

Word reached her ears as it did so easily in the company.

Standing in that office, he saw the fear in her eyes as her own dream, utopia slipped from her fingers. Her face twisted into something akin to desperation, hopelessness, as she gave a gasping cry. It wrecked her like an earthquake, shaking her to the core.

He didn’t need her, he’s sure of it, not like she needed him.

His stomach lurched, but the voice in the back of his head, the very same that craved to see her under him, whispered, _“she deserves it."_

He brushed past her, uncaringly, and she spoke.

“I suppose if you didn’t even care for your own child, an entire country is no different.”

The voice whispered, _“_ _you deserve it."_

* * *

One day, he didn’t see the flash of rosy pink turning the corner, no muted clatter of golden armor against the sabre at the waist. It was quiet, and he pretended it was quiet, like his declaration in his office, like her announcement in that garden, didn’t shake in his head until it ached. But it didn’t, couldn’t, _shouldn’t_ matter because his fantasy was so _close_ to meeting reality and the empty potential of a family could never outweigh his dreams, ambitions.

His utopia cheered before him.

Then the clacking of her heels, metal on stone, the haunting echo, the gorgeous vision she was in the doorway. He remembers it, eyes darting instantly to her flat stomach, a hot pool, an ache spreading behind his ribs. It _hurt,_ like he didn’t expect it to, the numbness crawling onto his skin like a spider.

Then, it crumbled. Loudly, with a battle cry, falling to ruins.

And his utopia _screamed._

* * *

“Our wishes, our confidence, our-” _child?_

She stared at him. He thought, _'_ _oh, I guess I didn’t care either.'_

The thought clenched his stomach, nausea hitting like a storm threatening to lose him at sea. He’d never met a wave he couldn’t conquer, but maybe there was a first for everything.

* * *

As he stumbled through the sacred palace, he thought, _what if?_

What if he agreed to her proposal to take back Parthevia together? What if he reigned in his carnal desires before his envy drove him mad? What if he did something, said anything, in the garden a year ago?

But he corrected, _' It doesn’t matter.'_

Because reality hit as he gazed into the feral eyes of the Goddess of Victory, her bulging body pulsating and sharp fangs protruding from the slit of her mouth. Her name slipped from his throat, raw and desperate, and he heard her quiet repentance, strained and muffled, like a deaf siren’s song. He tasted grief on his tongue like a worn-out prayer, bitter, sour, salty, sweet, overloading his senses.

* * *

_“Atusa,"_ and _“_ _Cyrus,"_ he learned, her soul singing to him. _“N_ _amed after rulers of old_ _."_ They were gorgeous names. There was an ache in his chest.

* * *

And he kneeled in the center of the ruins, the ombré of flames licking his legs, and he was submerged in the lamentation, choking, drowning. He hunched over her carbonized body, tears pooling out with a hand tucked under the remnants of her neck and the other laying on her stomach so delicately. He smelled pestilence, war, famine, death wafting through the air, the weight of the world gathered limp in his arms and he _realized_.

_“I guess we were, in some ways, two people of the same kind."_

* * *

He could feel the thrum of her soul, a constant, soft, beat within him, pinching his skin, pulsing like the reassuring pump of his _(_ _human, he’s just a human_ _)_ heart. It was a reminder that clawed at his back, mutilating his conscience, innocence, bleeding crimson _(_ _just like the rest_ _)_.

He pretended he could feel another softer beat, gentle like a child’s touch, clutching onto her soul, seeking comfort in the arms of the mother. A beat like the pitter-patter of feet across empty hallways, a hum like the quiet whines when the stars hung in the sky like curtains. Baby pink waves cascading and amber eyes that glitter in the warm Sindrian sunlight, royal purple tresses and blushing pink pools of wine.

Kneeling by the grave, a bouquet lain across it, he stared silently. The deep magenta hue of the sunset sky stared back at him.

* * *

The lifestream feels like the hymn of a cacophonous choir. His dream is nothing but a fantasy, once again out of reach. He was never one to reminisce in useless melancholy, the ambitious, foolhardy bastard that he is.

As he watches heaven fall, armageddon looming over him, he finally relaxes.

He inhales, exhales, opens his eyes at the pace of a child taking their first steps.

She’s a vision, an oasis, nirvana found in the warm magenta shade of her irises. It’s nothing like that mirage in the sacred palace, the silent puppet who paled in comparison to the ethereal apparition before him. She’s everything he remembers, and just a bit more.

She holds out a hand. The other cradles her stomach like an old habit.

* * *

Arrogance. Doubt. Naivety. Failure. _Reality_. He thinks they both understand now.

 _‘Two of a kind_ _,’_ he thinks, _‘ foolish until the end.’_

He smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> when writing this, i really didn't know how to approach a direct sequel or a happy ending without completely diverging from canon. i wrote _if our love's a tragedy_ before the end of magi/snb, so the betrayal of serendine wasn't factored into the original sequel.
> 
> this isn't exactly a traditional happy ending as i wanted to keep it canon-compliant, but i hope that's okay!
> 
> timeline-wise, the first time for sinseren was soon after the zepar dungeon. about five weeks later, when sin already returned from king rashid’s palace, seren tells him about her pregnancy. i added a few more weeks for leniency between the trip to balbadd and parthevia.
> 
> this has taken a year to finish, so i hope y'all enjoy!!
> 
> also, dani if you're reading this, this one's for you uwu!!!!


End file.
